The success criteria for year six writing changed this year: the focus is much more about how the text is suited to its purpose. Does it have the language features best suited to the intended audience and text style? in our literacy lessons we always read good examples of writing before staring our own. I call these mentor texts or WAGOLLs. WAGOLL means 'what a good one looks like' -they help us to identify which language features are most suited to our purpose. Now we are approaching the last term, some pupils are consistently writing at a year six level. They all need to independently write and edit their work - this is challenging. Usually, teachers can guide pupils to the parts which should be edited, however at this point in year six teachers must not tell children which parts need improvement - just point out that improvements need to be made! Pupils can help each other by reading and discussing their work together - we do this in our writers' circles. We can also look at good examples of writing found in class, some of this I have published here and will continue to add good examples of writing. Luckily, we have until the end of May to reach a year six level and most are poised to do so.
28 Comments
As darkness deepens, the scrapyard whines and groans like a human in distress. All around her, a vibration of creatures awake; chattering of tins and fuzzed batteries.
Rattling and clattering echoed around the deep vast valleys as the refuge quickly plucked some oddments. Reluctantly, the old pensioner plunged her putrid dirty hand into a mouldy box and a golden umbrella filled with shoe-box-sized holes met her arms. Frantically, a two-wheeled decaying trolley was wheeled sharply round a corner spotting an abandoned golf bag and some lonely golf clubs. A deafening silence embraced her as a vague silhouette casted over the scrapheap. Cautiously glancing into the corner, a car revealed itself. She stumbled over into the car; muttering under her breath; the seat dramatically collapsed. Earlier today, when she was fidgeting in the car, the elderly grandma searched without a break; she stumbled on a grim box with a beautiful clear diamond ring inside. Her heart warmed with creativity as the desperate advanced in year’s woman slowly staggered back to her cardboard house: it wasn’t waterproof. Gradually her trolley being lugged behind her- full to the brim. Successfully, the elegant lady-once she was inside (shaking wildly) started work. She was very industry as the lady the lady placed decorations neatly around the ramshackle tent-like-house. “Where should I put this?” she whispered calmly. At last, lazily sitting down, the cheerful Lady brightly gazed at her marvellous creation ‘a paradise’ she merrily thought to herself. Gleaming magically, a diamonds light sparkled like the jet-black-night sky starry sky around the luscious warm colours of the room. A weak candle flickered, unexpectedly filling warmth into the room. The umbrella gave a little shade. Her eyes glowed with pleasure. Deadly Snakes from MrsWills on Vimeo.
​Dashing out of School, Four friends desperately waited for their parents to come and pick them up. "Why don't we go to the park!" excitedly shouted Billy. Billy and Phillip were very boisterous boys; they were brave and loved to have fun. Suddenly a sound monopolised the two brothers and the twins -Jenny and Lenny's - attention. Dramatically something terrible happened...
Unexpectedly, the two boys knocked each over out, black spots, swiftly filled the brothers eyes. The hungry dogs moaned and swayed in the wind as if they were going to eat you. Billy and Phillip were unconscious, they had transformed into a blood curdling creature. Jenny jumped back and froze. paralysed with fear, they held each other- trying not to fall over. Goose bumps raised the size of Mount Everest. Then things began happening. Like a werewolf, the violent creatures, who had red blood shot eyes that illuminated. All of a sudden billy and Phillip began to rise from the wet floor."run for your life!"The twins screamed so much that the sound echoed around and shook the floor, they had a petrified face that stared at the brothers with horror. Sprinting, Jenny and Lenny were at the door in an instant. The putrid blood came meandering down their body as they snarled their teeth furiously. Jenny and Lenny were pounding on the door Frantically. The twins eventually got in, they yelled and screeched down the corridor. They ran in to the hall, however there was no where to go, they realised they would be trapped unless they ran for. Their life down into the library. "Hide while you can!" The dreadful creatures came in desperately to find the humans, they saw a hand behind the bookshelf,they looked behind it but the hand wasn't there. In a flash Jenny leapt out of the window with all her might! Lenny tried to jump but razor sharp claws dug into his jumper. Lenny was captured... Rueben Year 6 Lakeside Trip
Have you ever been to the supremely spectacular Lake Windermere? Isolated around hundreds of hills, it’s an exquisite place to go. I had the best experience in September ever! Seeing the crystal clear lake as soon as you get up in the morning, nothing could be preferable! Lakeside – a camp site, is a beautiful place in the North West part of England in the county of Cumbria. My favourite activity that I got to try, at lakeside was Kayaking. Hearing the warm gentle waves splashing against my little Kayak as I meandered my way throughout other people, swiftly crossing part of the lake, I was so excited, we played a cool game called world domination, I was really could at it, the aim of the game was to pick a country and try to take over the world by tapping your paddle on the back of the boat. I think China won but my aim was just to get Ros to be China and not Slovakia but she was very fast, I was still determined to get her though! The King Swing, my second favourite activity I will remember it forever. I was first, I got pulled right in the air. It seemed like miles. Eventually I was at the top. The Harness attached to me had a lever on it I pulled as hard as I possibly could, and all of a sudden I dropped… I swung down and back up into the air- not realising that when I pulled the lever, I would drop. I tried to do a back flip, but the harness wouldn’t let you. However it had to be one of my favourites. I could have picked a lot more activities because they were all so good: Like canoeing, rock climbing, and lots more Not forgetting Bush craft, my third favourite activity, we scavenged around the woodlands for big branches about the size of two people length ways and approximately 20 cm wide. Our group made a den right at the top of a big steep rocky hill. We built a camp fire next to our den. Also we tried lighting a fire, which took a long while but we did it! We rated other people’s dens, ours came second, and the group that won built an animal home and sold it for £500! After all these awesome activities, we got all our luggage, Wheeled it out to the bus, put them all in; got on the bus and drove away. I never wanted to leave, Lakeside gives you the best experience ever! So many activities, beautiful landscapes; everything you would possibly need, I imagined myself, sleeping in the tents, they were so cold, I enjoyed getting of the bus because my legs were dead, All our barbaric Mums and Dad clapped as the bus emerged really slowly round the corner, I think the driver had had enough! Sometimes I remember how cool it was walking up the fell and looking at the crystal clear lake below me! That’s when I knew it was going to be great being in chestnut class, everyone is so friendly, but the memory I will always remember, that will stick to me, was the thought of the water splashing against my Kayak in the Lake! |
AuthorChestnut Class is a year 6 class in East Harling Primary School. Although our teacher - Mrs Wills - will be posting our posts; our writing is all our own and will not be corrected by her. Please comment on our posts as we love feedback. Archives
February 2018
All
|