The success criteria for year six writing changed this year: the focus is much more about how the text is suited to its purpose. Does it have the language features best suited to the intended audience and text style? in our literacy lessons we always read good examples of writing before staring our own. I call these mentor texts or WAGOLLs. WAGOLL means 'what a good one looks like' -they help us to identify which language features are most suited to our purpose. Now we are approaching the last term, some pupils are consistently writing at a year six level. They all need to independently write and edit their work - this is challenging. Usually, teachers can guide pupils to the parts which should be edited, however at this point in year six teachers must not tell children which parts need improvement - just point out that improvements need to be made! Pupils can help each other by reading and discussing their work together - we do this in our writers' circles. We can also look at good examples of writing found in class, some of this I have published here and will continue to add good examples of writing. Luckily, we have until the end of May to reach a year six level and most are poised to do so.
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Prince Charming- the finest knight in all the land- clutched his deathly sickle, poised on the saddle (of his trusty stead) and roared the battle-cry of Oder foot.
The Gargantuan, monstrous guardians that guard the under lands, heard the cry from mile away, with their acute ears, and gazed into the fiery eyes of the prince. “Surrender yourself, you know you are outnumbered!” It roared, untroubled he replied with: “Thy is not worried, because I have the sickle of death!” He bellowed…. Disappearance from MrsWills on Vimeo. ​Disappearance Isabel, a nine year old girl was out walking with her two older brothers (who had been forced into taking her by her mum and dad to take her along) into a crooked pine forest. The brothers had only said that they were going to the park, but had a plan to go to the woods after recent disappearance in the newspaper. Isabel was an annoying little girl, that's what the twins thought, because she was always trying to be as cool as them. In the middle of the forest,a thick layer of fog loomed over the groaning trees in the howling wind. Suddenly the mountain like shape of a shed appeared in the blood shot eye of the twilight sky; the rotten ramshackle shed door read: NO ENTRY,DANGER OF DEATH, with a big black skull. Her lip quivered, one of the brothers muttered "what's that doing their?" The door was locked by several padlocks and a rustic iron chain. The twins smiled at each other and got to work picking the locks; Isabel watched in amazement as the last lock fell to the ground. Suddenly ruby red eyes appeared in a window, a drop of sweat trickled down her smooth fore head even though it was a winters day. "Err...there's something in their. "the adventurer said but the twins ignored her. Isabel was just walking around a corner of the shack when a boney, four fingered hand reached out the shadowy darkness and grabbed hers, she tried to get away but it was as strong a bear, she screamed her brothers sprinted to see if she was alright; she was not there. "We need to go and find help! "exclaimed one of them, they charged off to find someone. 5 minutes later, on the edge of the woods a dog walker with a beautiful Labrador appeared round a corner "hey help us!" They screened "our sister has been captured by something. ""really." She bitterly said in a disbelieving voice "oh alright I'll help as long as it's not to far to go," so they set off back to the shed, hoping there was still time. Half an hour later they arrived at the same old rotten shed "in here the twins whispered ."Inching toward the door a wisp of chilly air stood there hair on end" she's not here!" muttered one of the twins ,there was a strong smell of blood in the air "well so much for helping your sister!" said the woman, stamping off into the blue. Isabel was never seen again, police inquiries found nothing but the twins still believed she was still alive with or without the monster. Oscar ​Disappearance Isabel, a nine year old girl was out walking with her two older brothers (who had been forced into taking her by her mum and dad to take her along) into a crooked pine forest. The brothers had only said that they were going to the park, but had a plan to go to the woods after recent disappearance in the newspaper. Isabel was an annoying little girl, that's what the twins thought, because she was always trying to be as cool as them. In the middle of the forest,a thick layer of fog loomed over the groaning trees in the howling wind. Suddenly the mountain like shape of a shed appeared in the blood shot eye of the twilight sky; the rotten ramshackle shed door read: NO ENTRY,DANGER OF DEATH, with a big black skull. Her lip quivered, one of the brothers muttered "what's that doing their?" The door was locked by several padlocks and a rustic iron chain. The twins smiled at each other and got to work picking the locks; Isabel watched in amazement as the last lock fell to the ground. Suddenly ruby red eyes appeared in a window, a drop of sweat trickled down her smooth fore head even though it was a winters day. "Err...there's something in their. "the adventurer said but the twins ignored her. Isabel was just walking around a corner of the shack when a boney, four fingered hand reached out the shadowy darkness and grabbed hers, she tried to get away but it was as strong a bear, she screamed her brothers sprinted to see if she was alright; she was not there. "We need to go and find help! "exclaimed one of them, they charged off to find someone. 5 minutes later, on the edge of the woods a dog walker with a beautiful Labrador appeared round a corner "hey help us!" They screened "our sister has been captured by something. ""really." She bitterly said in a disbelieving voice "oh alright I'll help as long as it's not to far to go," so they set off back to the shed, hoping there was still time. Half an hour later they arrived at the same old rotten shed "in here the twins whispered ."Inching toward the door a wisp of chilly air stood there hair on end" she's not here!" muttered one of the twins ,there was a strong smell of blood in the air "well so much for helping your sister!" said the woman, stamping off into the blue. Isabel was never seen again, police inquiries found nothing but the twins still believed she was still alive with or without the monster. Oscar As I got off the coach at south camp, I saw the sun beaming on the vast hills and Lake Windermere. Hauling my colossal bag and rucksack up the gravel path, I got a glimpse of where I would be sleeping for the next few nights, a dark green tent with a storm cover. Dropping my bags hastily onto the brown wooden floor, Eye goggling at the enormity of the tent, the teachers called us over for our first activity.
Although all of the activities were fun, for me the kayaking was my favourite activity. As I shuffled off the bank, I could almost feel the water rushing under my boat. Paddling awkwardly I set off with the rest of my group. Now getting the hang of it our instructor, Jack gave us some tricky challenges and games. For one of our games we played kayak polo, which was very fun. Towards the end of the activity, Charlie capsized his kayak, it was hilarious. One of the highlights, every day were the meals, not only were they delicious they were always cooked with a huge amount of options to choose from. My other favourite activities were; climbing and abseiling, the king swing and the canoe cookout. The worst bits of Lakeside were definitely the nights, there were two nights I woke up really early because I was freezing, my teeth chattering rapidly. Other nights there were a flock of geese that landed outside our tent, squawking noisily. There was only one night when I slept well - which was Thursday- because we were all exhausted. For our last activity we did bush craft in which we play camouflage which is like hide and seek and forty, forty mixed up together. After that we split into teams and made a den. Half an hour later we went to have fish and chips for lunch. One plate of fish and chips later we were hoping on the coach, which is when I realised how much I didn’t want to go home, and then I remembered how much fun I had had with my class and I knew I was going to have in Chestnut class. |
AuthorChestnut Class is a year 6 class in East Harling Primary School. Although our teacher - Mrs Wills - will be posting our posts; our writing is all our own and will not be corrected by her. Please comment on our posts as we love feedback. Archives
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