The success criteria for year six writing changed this year: the focus is much more about how the text is suited to its purpose. Does it have the language features best suited to the intended audience and text style? in our literacy lessons we always read good examples of writing before staring our own. I call these mentor texts or WAGOLLs. WAGOLL means 'what a good one looks like' -they help us to identify which language features are most suited to our purpose. Now we are approaching the last term, some pupils are consistently writing at a year six level. They all need to independently write and edit their work - this is challenging. Usually, teachers can guide pupils to the parts which should be edited, however at this point in year six teachers must not tell children which parts need improvement - just point out that improvements need to be made! Pupils can help each other by reading and discussing their work together - we do this in our writers' circles. We can also look at good examples of writing found in class, some of this I have published here and will continue to add good examples of writing. Luckily, we have until the end of May to reach a year six level and most are poised to do so.
28 Comments
Frantically, wheeling her bronze, rusty trolley along, the old, wrinkly pensioner unstealthily forced her cluttered, two-wheeled trolley along the indistinct lanes of the abandoned junkyard. She was strolling towards a little tent with a big cardboard opening that swung after you had gone through it. Swinging and swooping, the cardboard door swung as the old lady had made her way through it.
Inside, all that stood there was an ancient, ripped chair and a circular table in the middle of the cramped, small room. On the table was nothing: nothing but a smelling candle that scented and lit up the room. She picked up a can that clanged in her hand and carefully placed it on the flickering candle. In only a matter of seconds, she had plucked up a yellow umbrella as well as slowly hanging it on the ceiling. Spikes were sticking out of it so she hung the three dirty doves from only one piece of flimsy plastic. Next, she put the air tree shaped air-fresheners on the table and clutched the beautiful diamond ring in her hand- she wouldn’t let go! Finally, she hung the lovely ring off a fallen off piece of metal that formed a disco like light that shone all around the room- it was magnificent. The ancient lady’s face beamed that beamed from ear to ear. In amazement, she looked around the room seeing that the shadows had made a winter wonderland! Have you ever seen mist and fog covering a crystal clear lake in the morning when you wake up, and lots of fun activities awaiting for you every day of the week? Well, that happened to me and it has, so far, it’s been the best week of my life. It all started on a bus, and that was when all the fun times began.
Suddenly, the bus came to a stop, I was there. It was time to do my first activity. CLING! I was strapped on, BANG! The door was shut. I was ready to do the Runway. My first few steps I was fine but then my knees started to shake, the ladder went straight and not at an angle any more. So I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and then started to climb, and that was when I made my mistake. When I was half way up the ladder, I looked down. I told George (our leader) that I didn’t want to do it anymore but then he told me to keep climbing, step by step I worked my way up. Finally I was at the top, George unclipped me and then clipped me onto the zip wire, sat me down on the edge of the platform. Then it happened, the noise of the whistle echoed through my ears but then came the countdown. 3! 2! 1! Go! WHOOSH. I was flying! I went over the Lake and then I went all the way to the other side. Suddenly, I went backwards and found myself dangling in the middle of the Lake. At first, I thought that I was stuck but then they finally pulled me onto the trolley, so I climbed down as soon as my feet touched the floor. I took off my harness. Finally, I wasn’t monopolised by fear any more. On my last day I did the king swing, and I watched other people do it and thought that it was easy. Next it was my turn. They strapped me on but they started to pull the rope they pulled and pulled so I went up and up. After another minute of pulling, I had reached the very top. I had to pull the leaver so I could drop down and swing. Pull! Finally I had done it! So they got me off and then we went back to the lunch hall and it was the best lunch you could have on my last day: Fish, chips, peas and beans. Then we got onto the bus to leave for home. The Lakeside trip is memorable because there was lovely food, the best instructors, good weather and awesome activities. There is one thing that I did the most, that was to make lots of friends as Chestnut class is in a new school for me. |
AuthorChestnut Class is a year 6 class in East Harling Primary School. Although our teacher - Mrs Wills - will be posting our posts; our writing is all our own and will not be corrected by her. Please comment on our posts as we love feedback. Archives
February 2018
All
|