The success criteria for year six writing changed this year: the focus is much more about how the text is suited to its purpose. Does it have the language features best suited to the intended audience and text style? in our literacy lessons we always read good examples of writing before staring our own. I call these mentor texts or WAGOLLs. WAGOLL means 'what a good one looks like' -they help us to identify which language features are most suited to our purpose. Now we are approaching the last term, some pupils are consistently writing at a year six level. They all need to independently write and edit their work - this is challenging. Usually, teachers can guide pupils to the parts which should be edited, however at this point in year six teachers must not tell children which parts need improvement - just point out that improvements need to be made! Pupils can help each other by reading and discussing their work together - we do this in our writers' circles. We can also look at good examples of writing found in class, some of this I have published here and will continue to add good examples of writing. Luckily, we have until the end of May to reach a year six level and most are poised to do so.
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In a hurry, the ancient grandma rushed towards her grim and mouldy house. With her squeaky, rusty trolley. The darkness shone around; then a flicker of light grew around her trolley. Her delicate features surrounded her with happiness and magic. Never had she imagined doing this in a dump. Quickly, she headed straight home exhausted from all of the searching she had done.
Excitingly, she trembled through her soggy cardboard door. As quick as a flash, she discovered what she had found and collected. She popped up her holey umbrella. However it may seem useless but she had something very creative in mind. Carefully, she hooked her tatty yellow umbrella on a dirty wooden pole. Beautiful light bursted through the hole that was torn and broken. The items that she had collected looked damaged and useless. Furthermore, the elderly grandmother carried on with her creative ideas. Secretly, she grabbed her lovely doves and hung them up on the pointy sharp edges of the umbrella. A spot of light shimmered on top of the candle. She covered the light with a bit of scrap which made the sight wonderful. A gorgeous smell entered the room. The moment she had being waiting for. The grandma hung her glistening diamond ring in front of the glowing candle. glory shimmered everywhere, it was magnificent. Sparkles dotted around her scrappy house. But now it looked superb with the graceful air fresheners, glowing umbrellas and her beaming diamond ring. She sat down and glanced around the room. It felt magical for the frail creative grandma. As the two-dotted , blood red ladybug sat on a pure white dove like feather, the aqua-ice shimmered in the sun light. The ladybug crouched longingly on the feather, gazing at her beautiful red and charcoal reflection; she fluttered, her fragile wings blew the feather a bit waiting for the right time to fly. She looked at the indigo and purple sky behind her watching it go by. The pure white feather gradually got closer and closer to touching the azure ice. The light ladybug weighed down the bright glistening white feather towards the silky smooth ice. At the back of the feather were velvety indigo wispy parts of the perfectly-clean grey and white feather. Deadly Snakes from MrsWills on Vimeo.
​Dashing out of School, Four friends desperately waited for their parents to come and pick them up. "Why don't we go to the park!" excitedly shouted Billy. Billy and Phillip were very boisterous boys; they were brave and loved to have fun. Suddenly a sound monopolised the two brothers and the twins -Jenny and Lenny's - attention. Dramatically something terrible happened...
Unexpectedly, the two boys knocked each over out, black spots, swiftly filled the brothers eyes. The hungry dogs moaned and swayed in the wind as if they were going to eat you. Billy and Phillip were unconscious, they had transformed into a blood curdling creature. Jenny jumped back and froze. paralysed with fear, they held each other- trying not to fall over. Goose bumps raised the size of Mount Everest. Then things began happening. Like a werewolf, the violent creatures, who had red blood shot eyes that illuminated. All of a sudden billy and Phillip began to rise from the wet floor."run for your life!"The twins screamed so much that the sound echoed around and shook the floor, they had a petrified face that stared at the brothers with horror. Sprinting, Jenny and Lenny were at the door in an instant. The putrid blood came meandering down their body as they snarled their teeth furiously. Jenny and Lenny were pounding on the door Frantically. The twins eventually got in, they yelled and screeched down the corridor. They ran in to the hall, however there was no where to go, they realised they would be trapped unless they ran for. Their life down into the library. "Hide while you can!" The dreadful creatures came in desperately to find the humans, they saw a hand behind the bookshelf,they looked behind it but the hand wasn't there. In a flash Jenny leapt out of the window with all her might! Lenny tried to jump but razor sharp claws dug into his jumper. Lenny was captured... Rueben Have you ever seen the glorious views of the Lake District? Or glanced over the Lake Windermere when it shines with silver? Well I had spectacular time all around miles and miles of high hills of Cumbria. The blazing sun hits the river and makes a magical glow. But the Lakeside instructors were extraordinary, helping us get ready for the next day ahead. They made us enjoy each and every activity, it was like a dream come true.
Although I enjoyed all of the activities, there was one that blew my mind away- it was called the King swing. As the strapped me into my harness, my heart pounded quickly with nerves running through my body. Scared, I reached on to the steady ladder then I cautiously leapt of the ladder with lots of others pulling me up as high as I could go. But then nerves started to kick in so I stayed strong and in a flash I pulled the cole-black leaver and I went flying! After that, I was more confident so I pulled out a few tricks going up side down, it was a glorious view with me swinging forward and back, side to side. It was like I was gliding in the clouds! Even though the King swing was magnificent the Runway was fantastic too. Suddenly it was my turn trembling, I went up the ladder I was wobbly about starting but I knew I could do it. As I stepped onto the platform, I realized Al (our instructor) wasn’t there! I still had to go up the gargantuan ladder, I took a deep breath and I saw Al before I knew it, Al had clipped my carabiner onto my harness. It was fine until I looked down at the bottom, my heart was pumping quickly I looked in front of me it went all the way across the Lake to the other side. I thought I couldn’t do it but in a flash… WHOOSH! I was flying! It might have been slow but it was extraordinary, because I was in the air, it felt like I was flying like a little fairy! However the launch was terrifying. Amazingly it was the best zip wire I had been on in my life! Seriously, the instructors are some of the nicest people you will ever meet. There was a lot of activities I enjoyed but there was another one called bush craft! It was not what I was expecting at all. Surprisingly, we got to make our own dens for a human or an animal. It had to have a shelter, food and water. Our group was very creative. First we thought of making a den for are self’s, but then we were more caring and made one for wildlife. Every single small stick we saw we took (every stick). Finally we finished our den, it could be used for other small animals like rats, mice, bugs, insects and others. They had their own little hide out and some escape holes. The activities were fantastically creative. I had a wonderful week in Lakeside, it was the best week I had ever had in my whole life. The Lakeside trip was memorable for a lot of great reasons: amazing food, great teamwork, wonderful weather and the best instructors- Ros, Alaster, George- it was supreme. I was surprised how good we all were I thought we all would have been a little bit of a pickle. |
AuthorChestnut Class is a year 6 class in East Harling Primary School. Although our teacher - Mrs Wills - will be posting our posts; our writing is all our own and will not be corrected by her. Please comment on our posts as we love feedback. Archives
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